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1 to 5. Fixed. Thank you for noticing them. ❤May nakita lang akong slight (errors?), I think,
Nagtaka lang ako sa behavior niya, kasi bigla siyang naging meek at parang submissive in front of the doctor compared dun sa detective. At parang di pa nagsink in sa kanya na wala na yung nanay niya (if namatay nga talaga), hindi ko maramdaman sa emotions niya yun. Or dahil siguro, gulong gulo pa siya.
- crazy lier,
- Robed man with a case in "her" hand,
- "Moistured" cotton vs. moistened cotton,
- Gathering up "datas",
- As long you keep your limits,
Sa concerns in 1, 2, 5 & 6. Na rephrase ko na dito sa draft ko.One of them gets the loudest scream - very awkward basahin. Siguro need i-rephrase?
The massacre is all a made-up story - same comment. The massacre is nothing but a fabricated story.
..and his mild shock doesn't hide - He's in his late thirties, a black man with a round face which showed his mild shock. Ganyan na lang siguro.
Data is already plural.
... that some patient of high maintenance?- awkward for me again
provoked about him? - which provoked him? - Or mas magandang i-rephrase din ito.
Bakit ka sa wrist kumuha ng dugo?? Masakit yan. Hahahaha. Hindi ba sa part ng arm? Hahahahaha
Parang ini-indicate ni Yura na yung expression niya na "mild shock" is permanent na sa facial features niya."He's in his late thirties, a black man with a round face which showed his mild shock."
Naka express lang yung mild shock niya at the moment. Siguro, dadagdagan ko nalang siya ng "at the moment" para clear.He's in his late thirties, a black man with a round face, and his mild shock doesn't hide.