Him.

[vve gvrtcwrgea]

I have a crush on this boy I met and befriended because of an activity in school. Like any other Wattpad cliches or something, I, as his friend, am scared to confess, for which I'm afraid I'll lose our friendship (If things don't work out). I'm also not ready to be in a relationship under the circumstances. I try to deny my feelings for him because I grew disgusted with love or romance all my life. But I think about him every time, blushing and feeling the "kilig" when our eyes meet, getting jealous when a girl approaches him or even talks to him. I find myself listening to love songs while thinking about him. Watching romantic movies, imagining how nice it would be if he asked me to dance under the moonlight with beautiful and bright stars or how nice it would be if he liked me first. Even without a confession, without a doubt, I'll say yes as long as it's him. So I gathered all my pride, accepted my feelings for him, and told no one about it. There's a problem, though. Sometimes he talks about other girls, gets shipped with other girls many times, and gives mixed signals (or I'm just assuming). I don't know how to deal with and organize my feelings in this kind of tense situation and my feelings for him.
I get sad when he gets shipped with someone who's not me, but I try to act like I'm not bothered by it by teasing him with the person he's shipped with, and luckily he doesn't show any interest in the girls. We also have conversations about liking someone and joke that we both like our crush, who's just imaginary. Sometimes he would say he also feels "kilig" about someone, but he doesn't confirm his feelings for that someone. It's confusing. He's Confusing. He sounds like a red flag, but trust me, he's not (not that I'm saying if he's a red flag, then I'm colorblind/A flag pole. He's sweet and charming like any other normal human being but he's the special one. He got manners, and a pleasant personality. We have the same humor, is a little bright, and have the same tastes and choices, but sometimes we contradict, plus the looks).
A confession for him over here and over there, my heart aches, and I feel embarrassed about myself because how dare I have feelings for a friend, knowing the risk that I will lose him. I pity myself for thinking I have a chance. I feel sorry for my present self, who still hopes there's a chance.
I need some clarification because I'm really, really confused. Is this some game? Or is this how falling in love really is? I don't remember love getting very exhausting and confusing, but somehow I saw that coming. Somehow, I knew love wasn't all about butterflies.

....I got exhausted from this cycle like it's now part of my routine. In the end, I just accepted that I would be seen only as a friend, no more than that.

Love really is full of surprises. It can change you, and you may learn something from the pain you've gained.

I just hope we're both happy.

 

[Masked Rider Black]

Lolokohin ka lang niyan.

 

[plhbg1]

don't you have any manliligaw? ala bang nanliligaw sa iyo?

 

[vve gvrtcwrgea]

don't you have any manliligaw? ala bang nanliligaw sa iyo?

wala po

 

[bigfishy]

ganyan talaga, ang pagibig ay isang sugal, you win some you lose some, pero sa bawat pagkatalo ay may matututunan kang bagay, the best thing you did is atleast you tried,